Relink:

http://kizanity.blogspot.com/

Much ♥,

Kiz.

A lazy day like this, I just wanna stay steadfast.

Well, the chalet had been a fun one, if not for some jokers such as Jordan. Nevertheless, was it a boring one too.  Can anyone come up with some fresh ideas what one can do during chalet? Other than barbecue, swimming, drinking, poker, watching television, chit-chatting, blanket/pillow fights, staying up late till early morning, doing particularly nothing and the list of typical stuffs goes on. Because that's what we usually do. To make the matter worse, it's raining almost everyday recently. Monsoon season, can't be helped.

Firstly, I would like to thank Damien for inviting me to his class chalet, despite not being one of them.

It was a 2D1N for both Seng Yang and I, whereas, 4D3N for the rest of them. The rest of them includes: Elain, Daphne, Jorean, Alex, Damien, Jordon, Jun Yong, Jun Dong, Jun Jie and Kenneth. Managed to go Wild Wild Wet free as there were free tickets given, shortly after our arrival. Besides me, the girls stayed at the chalet. Barbecue was pretty much unsuccessful that day. During the night, they played Indian Poker, in which the loser would have to drink vodka + other frizzy drinks. Because I don't drink soft drinks, it's quite likely I don't consume alcoholic drinks either and so I played my role as a bartender cum dealer. The delicious drink consisted of Coke, F&N green, Kickapoo and not forgetting the most important, Vodka, which has a content of 40% alcohol. In the end, Daphne was drunk and she caused quite a scene by damaging the air-con and so on. And so, others attended to her needs & took care of her. Got myself popcorn at E!Hub without watching movie for the first time, as Seng Yang didn't want to watch, but no, my craving for popcorn wasn't gonna end there, I bought and fed on it the whole of midnight. Poker + chit-chat session with Yang, Elain, Jun Yong, Jun Jie, Jun Dong and Alex till 4am+. It's bewildering how much you could find out from a little chit-chat session like this. Slumber party: in desperate attempt for a hug, I've no choice but to hug the two girls sleeping beside me. Oops! Sorry!

"Luck" is with me. My menstruation came during the chalet. Marked the end of the chalet, yet too, commenced the start of this bloody monthly thing every woman has to go through. Overall mood of this chalet,  UPSET. Because the trip back home in a cab cost $21.60! ~!@#$%^&*()

***

I'm going to Genting Highlands this coming Monday~Wednesday with Mummy and two brothers. Yeah, it's the first time I'm going out of this little red dot, though it's just a neighboring country. Cheers for me, thank you. Have always been wondering how the outside world looks like, now, I'm able to know! But still, I'm not really excited about the whole thing, because well, I've always wished my first trip outta Singapore would be with HIM, he promised. It's kinda impossible now, I guess. The other reason is because Genting is all about theme park and casino. I'm strike out for casino of course. As for theme park, I'm afraid of heights! Can't possibly play the roller coaster and all. Am I going to be courageous enough to try it? Otherwise, it's just a waste of money going there right? Sigh, what's with all these! I'd rather go KL and spend the whole day shopping there.

The previous time was a hard decision making between Twitter & Plurk. Now, another problem has surfaced. I'm thinking of going back to blogspot, because I don't know how Onsugar operates! How do I change the theme? It's so frustrating. Spend so much time trying to figure out, but to no avail. *argh On the other hand, I don't want to concede defeat to onsugar. So, tell me, what should I do. *bang the wall. Forget it, I'll do all the necessary, when I'm back from Genting.

Never failed to think of you every second... everyday.

Completely drained of energy and vitality- that spells E-X-H-A-U-S-T-I-O-N.

Back from Damien's class chalet, yeah, your eyes are not playing a fool, it's his class's chalet, wondering why I'm doing down there? I've absolutely no idea either. The chalet is still ongoing till tomorrow. But Seng Yang & I've taken an earlier leave. And SO, I've been sitting here on the same spot for the past five hours & I'm darn famished! *roars I'm too lazy & tired to move this butt of mine even a slightest inch. Argh, I shall update tomorrow when I'm all sober & conscious.

Since I'm always talking about global warming & stuffs like that, here is one of my favorite website which I'd like to share it with all of you.

http://livegreen.onsugar.com/

HAHA. That was totally rubbish! But my concern for the whole thing is true.

I'll be back tomorrow. HOTALAH!

Okay, this above photo was taken quite long time ago, like few months back? I can't really remember. Outdated? No doubt, precisely. So I was using this for my facebook's display picture and I received negative comments from friends, like "chua tio!". HAH. Well, who cares, I'm still posting it big enough here for all to see, regardless how downright ugly it is. Ignore the fat lips of mine, heh.

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Alright, so they asked me to change it. But I've run out of pictures! All of them are like so outdated! And so, crazily immediately I went to have a photo-taking session. Efficient, ain't I? The above photo is the current one, taken yesterday, with my sexy love punch bought days ago! Say HI! Can tell there's not much of a difference, perhaps an extra feather on my head. Never perfect, but well, good enough, satisfactory. No, I didn't edit my above photos! Don't assume I edit all of my pictures please, Damien. I'll show you what can look equally good without editing. Check.

As promised (to myself), I will try to keep my blog functional & active as before, since I got a laptop = access to internet now. I don't know if will work out fine, as I've not been blogging regularly recently. It feels kinda weird, you know. If it failed, well, then, that's it. As far as possible, I'll try to keep this alive.

I'm going back to plurk, after months of using twitter. Twitter is like so IN nowadays, everybody is using it, it's like sort of a trend, whatever shit you call that. So why am I not? I'm going to reveal the reason why *winks. To be honest, for a moment, I was quite bothered by which I should stick to. For twitter, you get to follow your desired hot celebrities, because the whole world is using it, obviously! Celebs are not an exception, of course. Another reason why one would use is because... EVERYBODY IS DOING IT. Uh-huh, sounds shallow, but it's the truth, really. Hm, it's nothing really bad about twitter. But I find it quite laggy lately, which pisses me off. I don't know if the problem lies with the stupid connection of mine or is it with twitter? Don't really bother anymore, 'cause I'm reverting back to plurk! It's like more practical for me somewhat, it has all those little cute emotions icons. Besides, it seldom gets laggy. Between twitter & plurk, in other words, it's like trendy v.s practical, something we're exposed to in our daily lives. Both alternatives seem tough, but still, I've come down with a decision. Plurk.

There's been many events ongoing for me lately and it's kind of wearing me out. It's impossible how ever am I going to elaborate each and every, so I'm gonna let the photos do the talking next time round when I post. Soon, maybe. Nah! I can't be trusted to carry things out. Take the video as for example, I didn't manage to complete, simply too lazy enough. I'd wish to finish what I've started, but I'm always sidetrack by something else. Back to where I was, for some such that I didn't take photos, there's little I can do, so I might as well just skip that. All I want is in the near future, when I look back at those times, the photos would be the memories, reminding me of our young and happy moments. Bullshit, you'd say.

Okay, if you've noticed, I've removed my tagboard. (Boo! Sorry, spammers :)) Nah, that's not my real reason. And dumb, even a retard can tell that my tagboard is removed, so the first sentence of this paragraph is totally redundant. Anyway, I removed it because of various reasons.Firstly, when people tag me, I'm too lazy to reply at times. And I feel awful just by not reciprocating the feelings. So better still, removed, makes sense?

Secondly, I've been going on and on saying this like for an eternity, that I own a blog is not to entertain people, but well, here goes the same word again, memories. So why not I own a diary, you'd ask. I do! I feel that diary is more like personal and is conceivably confidential. Bad thing about diary is I can't post pictures, well, if I really wanted to, I can. But it's very time-consuming. Anyway, which dumb-ass would share his/her utmost secrets with everyone? Don't wash your dirty linen in public; the same thing applies. Private blog? I can't understand why I've to do up my blog believably nice and not sharing with others to appreciate the beauty.The underlying foundation is; I've nothing ashamed to say, so why not.

Thirdly, I'm a sage. By removing the tagboard is not completely annihilating the platform for readers to comment. There IS a comment box, it just takes more trouble to submit a simple comment. And I assume, NO ONE will ever comment, because majority is lazy. Am I right by saying that? And SO, I've provided a platform to nurture lazy kids like you, to be a successful hardworking young lady/man in the future! Uh, that was utterly crap. For those who wants me to relink you, I'm sorry but to say you gotta use that comment box or talk to me in MSN, or just ignore, if you're really hopeless by laziness.

Money makes the world go round; Sadly, there's some absolute truth in it.

Damn, so many thoughts running through my mind, yet unable to speak up & express clearly.

I hated myself for not standing firm at the initial thought, for not persisting stronger the way I should have. How had I make a mess of everything? Yet, what could I have done differently? Even in hindsight, I  couldn't think of any better way, any perfect course of action. Two difficult choices, either one choice I've to choose from, would not have not done any good to us both but only to hurt us both deeply. But then again, if given a second chance, I'd surely do. The other way round. To send you away from me, rather than seeing you being taken away from me. Whatever it takes to bear that spur-of-moment heartache than this spasmodic pain which comes at regular intervals.The biggest mistake was then what I supposed, it was wrong to have embark this game of love initially. Battlefield. Why did we not get the chance to bid a formal farewell? I don't understand. It seemed so unfair, out of balance. But maybe I'd violated some unknown rule, crossed some line that had condemned me.

No idea what has happened in midway which caused both our letters to arrive so late. We both thought each other has stopped writing to each other. In fact, we don't & never will. It took almost a month for it to reach me. In that particular month, it was one of my worst nightmare. I wouldn't rule out any possibilities whatever might affected the duration. Perhaps the envelope wasn't sealed properly, it had fallen out? Maybe the address was written incorrectly? Perhaps it was sent to a wrong address & the person didn't care to send back? Maybe the postman stole it? Perhaps the HM didn't pass it to him? So many maybes, so many perhaps, but the absurdity of the idea comforted me. Had I not thought of one single truth to what might have honestly been? You stopped writing? Yes, I did. I tried to convince myself that you would never, but my inability to lie to myself only led me to check the mailbox everyday. The harsh pain of this knowledge made me realize that I'd already begun to hope without giving myself permission to. It passed on for days... for weeks, each time I returned with empty hands. And I was losing faith eventually, carried with the slightest glimpse of hope, started to believe what I most hated to face. I gave up. 14th October; The exact day when I didn't check, my brother announced that I received a letter. I hung my head low & ask myself repeatedly, WHY? Why must I always suffer through the worst of times, the darkest moments, then would I get to hear from you? Would I have you? My first intention was not to reply you, but I couldn't seem to. And so, I started to pen down & sealed the envelope, without hesitation, sent the letter out.

21st October; The next letter arrived faster than any that had come, too quickly that I knew something was wrong. Dang it, I was right. You said that it might be the last letter that you're sending it to me, because of certain reason, which I shall not disclose for it does not concern the rest. The arrival of the last letter was the blackest kind of blasphemy. Everything felt so bizarre & I felt so out of place, shut down from the world. It was like as if I've been living aimlessly throughout my life. Every second passed was like an hour, every minute passed was like a year, every hour passed was like a decade. Every moment seemed to last forever. As the clock was ticking by, resembling the pulse of my heartbeat, beating for you, screaming for you. It was an increasingly eternal misses. Boy, do you feel the same?. This lone sobriety has turned to insanity. Escaping from reality was my solely survival. But no matter how awful I had felt, I dreaded the days to pass quickly, because I am reassured that I am walking into something that I'd yearn for long... I am one step closer to you.

Happy 6th Month Anniversary, Boy.

YEO CHIN GEKYNG WEI LIANG.

Unconditionally & Irrevocably in love with.

020509, Y 020509, Y020509, Y020509, Y

Dying inside, cause I can't stand it. Make or break up, can't take this madness.

School's out, bitch!

 Okay, so let's announced my results.

English- A2

Higher Chinese- B3

Mathematics- B3

Science- C5

Geography- B3

History- A1

Literature- A1

D&T- A2

Art- B3

HomeEcon- A1

The year's come to an end, sec 2's life is finally over. Sigh, gonna so miss 2A. People like John, Zainul & Ruzaini. Can't imagine class without you, no more anymore nonsense from you guys to make us laugh our arses out. But nevertheless, am I moving on with times & welcome new classmates. YANGYANG & ZHONGZHONG, here I come! LOL.

あなたのこと　私は今でも思い続けているよ
いくら時流れて行こうと　I'm by your side baby いつでも
So　どんなに離れていようと
心の中ではいつでも一緒にいるけど　寂しいんだよ
So baby please　ただ hurry back home

Baby boy　あたしはここにいるよ　どこもいかずに待ってるよ
You know dat I love you　だからこそ　心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても変わらないよこの心
言いたい事わかるでしょ?
あなたのこと待ってるよ

んなことよりお前の方は元気か?　ちゃんと飯食ってるか?
ちくしょう、やっぱ言えねぇや
また今度送るよ　俺からのLetter

過ぎ去った時は戻せないけれど　近くにいてくれた君が恋しいの
だけど　あなたとの距離が遠くなる程に　忙しくみせていた
あたし逃げてたの
だけど　目を閉じる時　眠ろうとする時　逃げきれないよ　あなたの事
思い出しては　一人泣いてたの

あなたのこと　私は今でも思い続けているよ
いくら時流れて行こうと　I'm by your side baby いつでも
So　どんなに離れていようと
心の中ではいつでも一緒にいるけど　寂しいんだよ
So baby please　ただ hurry back home

Baby boy　あたしはここにいるよ　どこもいかずに待ってるよ
You know dat I love you　だからこそ　心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても変わらないよこの心
言いたい事わかるでしょ?
あなたのこと待ってるよ

不器用な俺　遠くにいる君
伝えたい気持ちそのまま言えずに　君は行っちまった
今じゃ残された君はアルバムの中

アルバムの中　納めた思い出の
日々より　何げない一時が　今じゃ恋しいの
And now　あなたからの電話待ち続けていた
携帯にぎりしめながら眠りについた
[抱きしめて会いたい]　どこも行かないよ　ここにいるけど
見つめ合いたいあなたのその瞳
ねぇわかるでしょ?　あたし待ってるよ

Baby boy　あたしはここにいるよ　どこもいかずに待ってるよ
You know dat I love you　だからこそ　心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても変わらないよこの心
言いたい事わかるでしょ?
あなたのこと待ってるよ

俺はどこも行かないよ　ここにいるけれど　探し続けるあなたの顔
Your 笑顔　今でも触れそうだって思いながら手を伸ばせば　君は

あなたのこと　私は今でも思い続けているよ
いくら時流れて行こうと　I'm by your side baby いつでも
So　どんなに離れていようと
心の中ではいつでも一緒にいるけど　寂しいんだよ
So baby please　ただ hurry back home

あなたのこと　私は今でも思い続けているよ
いくら時流れて行こうと　I'm by your side baby いつでも
So　どんなに離れていようと
心の中ではいつでも一緒にいるけど　寂しいんだよ
So baby please　ただ hurry back home

=================================

Even now, I'm still thinking of you.

Doesn't matter how long it takes.

I'm by your side, baby, at any time.

So, however far apart we are,

in my heart, we'll always be together.

But I'm so lonely.

So baby, please just hurry back home.

Baby boy, I'll be right here.

Won't go anywhere, I'll be waiting for you.

You know that I love you, so

there's no need to worry.

No matter the distance,

this heart of mine won't change.

You know what I'm trying to say, right?

I'll be waiting for you.

Before anything else... How have you been?

Have you been eating properly?

Damn, I still come up with what to say.

Guess I'll just send it another time, this letter of mine.

But I can't return to what might have been.

Come back close to me, you're the one I'm yearning for.

But you are already far away from me.

So I'm trying to keep myself occupied.

It's my only form of escape.

However, everytime I close my eyes & when I fall asleep,

I could never run away from you.

I reminisce & cry by myself. 

Even now, I'm still thinking of you.

Doesn't matter how long it takes,

I'm by your side, baby, at any time.

So, however far apart we are,

in my heart, we'll always be together.

But I'm so lonely.

So baby, please just hurry back home.

Baby boy, I'll be right here.

Won't go anywhere, I'll be waiting for you.

You know that I love you, so

there's no need to worry.

No matter the distance,

this heart of mine won't change.

You know what I'm trying to say, right?

I'll be waiting for you.

I was stupid & now, you're far from me.

I wanted to tell you my feelings didn't change.

But you were already gone.

Now all I have left of you is inside this album.

Inside this album, I've kept all the memories of you.

Now, I'm yearning for all the times I've spent with you.

Your warmth.

And now, I'm still waiting for your call.

Hands clasped on the cell phone even as I fall asleep.

I want to hold you tight.

I won't go anywhere, I'll only be right here.

I just want to gaze & stare at your eyes.

You already know right?

I'll be waiting.

Baby boy, I'll be right here.

Won't go anywhere, I'll be waiting for you.

You know that I love you, so

there's no need to worry.

No matter the distance,

this heart of mine won't change.

You know what I'm trying to say, right?

I'll be waiting for you.

Although I'm here, I'm still looking for your face.

Your smile, even now,

I still feel the touch of a hand reaching out. It's you.

Even now, I'm still thinking of you.

Doesn't matter how long it takes,

I'm by your side, baby, at any time.

So, however far apart we are,

in my heart, we'll always be together.

But I'm so lonely.

So baby, please just hurry back home.

Baby boy, I'll be right here.

Won't go anywhere, I'll be waiting for you.

You know that I love you, so

there's no need to worry.

No matter the distance,

this heart of mine won't change.

You know what I'm trying to say, right?

I'll be waiting for you.

Pictures taken on the 17th October 2009, supposedly formal outing to celebrate & declaration of examinations over. *shouts & screams

Korkor is leaving for Korea in few hours' time. I'm so gonna miss him for his presence during these seven days. Gah, no more hug hug anymore. *sobs. PROTEST! Anyway, I just hope he enjoys himself there, it's his first trip out of Singapore. Great. Now, everyone in this family has gone to somewhere out of this little red dot, left with me stuck within this boundary, exposed to pathetic little knowledge of how's life out there in the world. Will I still get this chance of going overseas? The climate catastrophe is quite worrying lately. The blistering heat can be served as sauna solution, really. I'm perspiring with minutes of standing out there in the hot sun. Some says the world ends on 2012, how true is that? Nobody knows. The figure seems somewhat impossible to me. But I believe Singapore will be devoured by the waters in the next 30 years' time. I know that world end will eventually arrive, due to the selfish acts of us human being, but not so soon. C'mon! I only live my life on this planet for 14 years. I've not enjoyed my life to the fullest by any means. I'm not gonna sit around & see everything taken away from me. But that's so little I can do. Just wish that people can be more aware of what's happening and contribute one way or another to save the planet.

Fight climate change, reduce global warming! *wa-ta

Close your eyes and fly away love. Hush now, darling, don't you cry.

The above photos were taken on 17th September 2009, which is Patrick's birthday. Those are three out of a hundred- yes, no more, no less. It'd be crazy if I were to post all of them up here, bombard you guys with pictures. Though I wish to. Hah! So, there'll be a follow-up video in which I'm currently doing it with NJP as advisor. Hah! Stay tuned. But as examinations are round the corner, I'm in no mood to continue with what I've previously done. Generally, I'm running out of time. So, guess that'll be one of my post exam activity. Set.

Living in the present, with no past fading, no future impending.

With end-of-year examinations being the main concentration in every student now, the classroom's atmosphere feels tense. Scary. Nevertheless, I'm going haywire-d because of exams too- stress. I'm gonna be streamed this year & I wish, I PRAY to go 3B next year and be in the same class with potential classmates- desired friends, hopefully. I've no confidence in myself of my performance, because many things have changed. And, I still can't seem to catch up in Science & Maths- subjects that I used to adore, but ridiculously, abhor now. I've never felt this way before. Even in one of the important exam which I came across in life, as of now, two years ago, that is the PSLE, it was more relaxed in comparison. Ah, if Sec 2 streaming's gonna be that "frightening", what would it be like for O' levels? Hm, that's to give it a thought. I don't think this year I will be getting scholarship anymore. Huge sigh. Looking at my horrendous mid-year results, it's hardly possible. IF, I do well in end-of-year, that still won't be able to salvage much either & that's IF ONLY. And I if I did worse than before, that's apparently, out of the question already. I will be disappointed in myself more than ever, honestly. From Primary 1 till Secondary 1, I've never failed not getting scholarship awards. Thought I'd be getting them smoothly like a snap of fingers throughout the years of my status as a student, that's stupidly  hilarious. Laugh it off, guys. I'm not masochistic.

I've not started revision. Will I be able to sit down to really concentrate & bury myself in revision just in time before the nightmare begins?

Anyone's aware that the $9.7 million toto night race has ended & the results? 2, 4, 22, 29, 31, 39, 37#. Guess what? I've got it correct of the 5 numbers, namely, 2, 4, 22, 29 and 37! I could have easily obtain $50, 000+ for getting 5 and 1/2 numbers correct if it was season roll! Flabbergasted. My mum asked me yesterday if there were any numbers I wanted to buy, I was using computer & dang, did she not know that I would switch off from anything when I was using comp- I wasn't paying attention. God, I had those numbers in mind, honestly! They were significant numbers to me. Yesterday, I was bored at work and so I stared at the calendar for very long. Numbers and numbers  rushed into my mind. 2 is the date our love ignited, it's been 4 months since we're together officially, 22 is my register number & it so happened that I was looking at that big number on my friend's basketball jersey when I went back to school, waiting at the school gates to collect back my wallet, which I misplaced, 29 is well, his birthday (those are numbers which I couldn't seem to shake off since) and last but not least, 37 is the number which I closed my eyes and using my instincts to jot down on that toto paper. GAH, it really is maddening. When my mother whined about almost striking 4D and all, I always pissed off  & told her this: "Whatever is yours, it will be; whatever is not, it never will be." Had I not thought that would happen to me. Roll eyes. And so, to think that I have to use my very own sentence which I soothe her to calm my own nerves down. Very funny. It'll defeat the purpose of having said that & not believing it myself. Forget it. Who's reliable for this, who's to blame. Grr.

I'm so looking forward to holidays. Nope, unlike others, I'm not going to dye my hair or whatsoever. That's, *ahem, typical. What's the point of dying during holidays and have to dye back two months later when school re-opened? That's illogical & dumb, to damage your hair constantly, no offenses intended though. Not saying that I wouldn't, I will but that's in time to come, after I graduated from secondary school. I've already started to plan my post exam activities. That gonna be lots of thrills, I believe. First and foremost, I'm so gonna ambush Nihon Mura to unleash my burning desire for sushi & celebrate the joy of end of school term. Secondly, I'm anticipated to go Pulau Ubin with 64 & get some eye-catching sceneries, as experienced by the olds. Hah! So, it's like... camwhore, camwhore & camwhore. But of course, before everything, let's put things back into perspective, of focusing what's more crucial right now...

Study hard for exams, guys!

"Our relationship couldn’t continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his decision, or his instincts. My decision was made, made before I’d ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility."